What Did You Say?

Dr Don Moore

Three Essential Steps in Communicating Effectively

At times, communication can seem like two ships passing in the night! The leader states what he thinks is well understood, while the employee hears what he thinks the leader said only to find out that the message was completely misunderstood.


The bottom line is a leader must first listen carefully in order to learn another’s perspective before leadership can be effective. Looking into scripture, we find these three essential steps of LISTEN – LEARN – LEAD for effective communication.


1. Listen

The skill of listening is tough to develop because we’re so intent on saying what’s on our minds that we don’t even consider what’s going on in another person’s mind. Out of frustration with His people, God told Isaiah how they would respond to his message:


And he said, “Yes, go. But tell my people this: ‘Though you hear my 

words repeatedly, you won’t understand them. Though you watch

and watch as I perform my miracles, still you

won’t know what they mean.’

Isaiah 6:9 (TLB)


Taking time to listen to another person genuinely is a gift of seeking their best interests before your own. Asking clarification questions about what they are expressing will build understanding, which will result in a relationship of trust and respect. This is essential for quality communication. Proverb throws out this warning:


To answer before listening—

that is folly and shame.

Proverbs 18:13


Ask a colleague privately to observe your listening skills

in a group meeting and then to suggest ways 

to improve your skill.

2. Learn

The more you listen, the more you will learn about another person’s thinking and frame of reference. In fact, with those insights, what you had intended to say may need some modification for your message to be fully understood. 


Not taking time to learn cannot only lead to misunderstanding but also frustration and even anger, as James so aptly pointed out: 


Everyone should be quick to listen

slow to speak and slow to become angry,

because human anger does not produce

the righteousness that God desires.

James 1:19-20


Taking time to learn the perspective of another, may lead to changing the message, the timing of its delivery or even how it’s communicated. This will increase the likelihood of the message being fully understood, increasing the value you have for one another.


How much time have you taken to really listen

and learn more about your employees?


3. Lead

Time is well spent listening and learning from your employee because it equips you to lead in ways you couldn’t before. In addition, the employee feels they are being heard, respected and understood. Following your lead will become more natural and comfortable rather than being stress-filled and even a struggle.


You can become wise and even more respected as a leader by listening and learning with humility. James put it this way:


Who is wise and understanding among you? 

Let them show it by their good life, by deed

done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 

James 3:13


When you find your leadership lacking in its effectiveness

take time to listen and learn from each person on the team

for that time will be well-spent opening new

channels of communication.


Share by: