Managing Conflict Takes Courage

An interview with Jacob Walda

President, Timothy Generation Ministries, Cambridge, Ontario

By Nancy Kingdon

Managing conflict requires courage. Winston Churchill says: “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” 

Jacob Walda’s favourite quote reinforces the need for courage: “If you work with a pig, get dirty and the pig will have fun.” For Jacob, this means deciding when to get involved, or not get involved. Sometimes conflict demands loving boldness to confront someone with truth. Other times, patience and walking away is the best path. Wisdom is needed, to make this decision.

In 1 Kings 3:24 wise King Solomon stunned his listeners when he commanded “cut the baby in half”. His intention was to see which mother would rather give up her child rather than see her baby killed. That boldness revealed which woman was the true mother!

The key to resolving conflict is praying for wisdom, then learning to listen and obey God’s voice, led by His Spirit.

Jacob’s Story

Growing up in a Christian home, where money was tight, Jacob’s primary interest was basketball. He had a belief in heaven, but that was it. 

At Redeemer University he played basketball but lived in the world, still rebelling against serving God. During a basketball game in his third year, he suffered a concussion that took six months of rehab. Mad at God, Jacob continued to run away from God’s call to go to Bible College. Instead, he became a plumber.

As an elder in the church, Jacob’s father was confronted one day by a lady from the church. “How often to you read your bible and pray?” was her question. “Never” was not a good enough answer!

This confrontation impacted not only his parents, but Jacob’s life, too. His parents began to read their bible and pray daily. Jacob also began this, and six months later Jacob, his Dad and his little sister all signed up for Bible College. 

After reading in Mark 16:18 about laying on hands to heal the sick, Jacob felt a prompting to take action. He looked around for someone in need of healing. He saw a student battling scoliosis, and she agreed to be his test subject. God miraculously healed her! That event changed Jacob’s life and he submitted his life to God, soon thereafter accepting a youth pastor position at a church in Whitby.

One day a few months later, Jacob saw in a vision the Scotia Bank Arena filled with thousands of young people raising their hands and voices, worshipping God. This spiritual dream inspired Jacob to passionately pray for revival in Canada.

Shortly after this, he met Bill Prankard, who shared the same vision, and became his mentor. After five years of working together on the same team, Bill passed his senior leadership baton on to his successor and Jacob became President of Timothy Generation Ministries. 

Applying Biblical Principles

Seek God First: Before addressing any conflict, pause to seek God’s guidance. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5 NIV

Be Patient with Everyone: Avoid taking offense. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 2 Timothy 2:24 NIV

Speak the Truth in Love: Restoration as our goal requires learning to speak truth in love. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. Ephesians 4:15 NIV

Two Books Recommended

Calling it “fantastic” Jacob thinks all leaders should read Gene Edwards’ book Tale of Three Kings, which focuses on how David, Absalom and Saul interact with others, teaching great lessons on overcoming conflict. Studying David’s life illustrates techniques to manage conflict!

Danny Silk’s Unpunishable: Ending Our Love Affair With Punishment challenges readers. When punishment is anticipated, people sometimes become afraid to talk to God, and to confess sins. They fear what God will do. But God already knows! Living with the fear of punishment is not an acceptable characteristic of the “born again” Christians. Instead, for healthier living, we must learn to accept God’s gracious offer of forgiveness and recognize his desire for reconciliation.

Conclusion

When asked for a definition, Jacob responded: “managing conflict is the ability to control emotions and situations both internally and externally with wisdom and grace.” 

Who are you listening to? Is it God’s or the world’s voice? God wants reconciliation, godliness, and to see each one of us reflect the loving heart of God in how we relate with those around us.

Therefore, how we learn to manage conflict can reveal who has control over us. For success in managing conflict, the key is praying for wisdom, then learning to listen and obey God’s voice, led by His Spirit.